


& your distant smile

by xxSteggie



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: 1700 words of gay yall, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 13:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8982274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxSteggie/pseuds/xxSteggie
Summary: Natasha Rostova seemed to find something wondrous in every atom of the universe (even at a Christmas tree farm, which is where she is with Mary Bolkonskaya).





	

**Author's Note:**

> ta-da, my fic for the gcwapficexchange !! this goes to @natalya-ilyinichna on tumblr, i hope that you like it!

“So, uh, yeah. Y-you can come over, if you want, but you don’t have to and I totally understand if you can’t-”

 

“Of course I’ll come! I’d love to help.”

 

“O-oh! Awesome! S-so I’ll see you tomorrow evening then?”

 

“Yup! See you soon! Bye,” Natasha said. She lowered the phone from her ear and ended the call with a sigh and a smile. She hadn't been expecting the call from Mary Bolkonskaya, but she was more than pleased to receive the invite. She admired Mary more than she had admired anyone in a long while, and she didn't know why. (Well, she did, but she didn't exactly want to admit it. She knew that she loved the way that Mary talked and how passionate she was and how much she genuinely loved others. And maybe Natasha wanted to be one of those people, but no one would ever know that.) She looked back down at her phone and smiled as heat rose to her cheeks. She didn’t know Mary very well, but she wanted to. She was growing distant with Andrey. They rarely talked, and yet Mary had still wanted to see her. The thought made Natasha happier than she had been in a long time.

 

* * *

 

Mary heard a knock on the door. Her head snapped up and her glance shot towards it. She gulped and made her way towards it and braced herself for what was to come next. Her hand hovered over the knob, and she noticed it trembling. She smacked it with her other hand and opened the door before she could decide against it. Her eyes were on the floor, and she brought them up to meet Natasha’s. Or, rather, she tried. Her eyes got stuck on her pants, then her outfit, then on all of her face and just on all of  _ her _ . Natasha was stunning; she was radiant even in her casual outfits. Her hair had gotten a little bit messy in the wind while she was waiting outside, but Mary didn't mind. It suited Natasha. But, then again, anything did.

 

“Oh, hello! Won't you come in?” Mary asked, and moved away from the door to let the other girl in. The wintery chill from outside blew in and Mary hurried to close the door. 

 

“Ugh, it’s so cold,” Natasha grumbled as she hung her coat in the small closet in Mary’s foyer. “I should have brought a hat.”

 

“I have one that you can borrow!” Mary hurriedly offered. “I-if you want to, of course.”

 

“Oh, thank you! I would love that,” Natasha answered with a smile. Her cheeks were glowing from the cold and Mary wanted nothing more but to put her hands on them until they warmed. “Don't worry about getting it now though. We can grab everything before we leave!”

 

Mary smiled and nodded. She motioned for Natasha to follow her into the kitchen. She had prepared some hot chocolate for them to drink before going out to the Christmas tree farm. Mary had asked Natasha to help her get a tree and to decorate it since Andrey wasn't home yet and her father could barely even breathe, none the less set up a live tree in their living room. He was asleep again (it was almost like nothing ever woke him up, but was that really a bad thing?) and Mary thanked everything that she knew of that this day wouldn’t have to involve him. 

 

The two girls sat down at the kitchen table and Natasha wrapped her hands around the mug. She leaned her head down so that the steam hit her face, and she smiled at the feeling of the warmth. Mary’s cheeks warmed at the sight. She was always so  _ nervous _ around the Rostova girl. Natasha made Mary aware of everything around her. She made Mary want to make everything better just to see Natasha smile, even for a few seconds. She made Mary want to make herself better too, even if she didn't know how to just yet. Natasha stopped smiling and the heat from Mary’s face faded. They both lifted their drinks to their mouths at the same time and froze, looking at each other. Their eyes locked, and it was almost like everything around them stopped. 

 

Just them, and no one else.

 

Natasha giggled and crossed her eyes jokingly over the rim of the mug and took a sip. Mary tried to suppress a laugh, and failed. Her eyes scrunched and her head rolled back and her entire body shook from just the joy of the moment and the fact that Natasha Rostova had accepted her invite and was  _ here _ and was drinking her hot chocolate.

 

“Oh, gosh,” Mary said with a gasp as she tried to get her breath back. “I don't know why that was so funny, but-”

 

“Your laugh is adorable,” Natasha said abruptly, cutting Mary off. Mary blushed furiously and quickly turned away.  _ Shit. Shit! _

 

“Oh, I didn't mean to cut you off!” Natasha quickly said and Mary was getting a little better at pretending to be okay.

 

“Oh, no, it's okay! We should get going anyway. Before the farm closes and before it gets dark,” Mary said shyly as she turned around. She took a final gulp of cocoa and got up to put her mug in the sink. Natasha followed suit, and Mary turned on the sink and began to rinse her cup. Natasha stood next to her and Mary was very aware of the feeling of Natasha’s hip against hers and the way that their arms were almost touching and the way that Natasha seemed to be looking at Mary like she was everything in the world. 

 

And to Natasha, in that moment, Mary was.

 

* * *

 

“Do you want me to drive?” Natasha asked as she put on her coat and the beanie that Mary has given her. 

 

“Sure. We can take my family’s car since it has those things on the top to strap the tree onto,” Mary responded with a zip of her jacket. 

 

They made their way outside into the cold. A gust of wind came, blowing Natasha’s hair into her face and she tried frantically to brush it off. Mary instinctively reached for Natasha’s face, her hand bumping Natasha’s in the process. Natasha smiled in thanks as her hair fell back behind her ear, and she unlocked the car and Mary just watched. Mary could watch Natasha forever; everything that she did was elegant. God, Andrey was lucky. But maybe she would be soon, too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

If Mary thought that Natasha was beautiful before, she thought so even more now. They were walking around the Christmas tree farm, and Natasha looked at everything with wide-open wondering eyes. Natasha seemed to find something wondrous in every single atom of the universe. Mary was so fucking _envious_ of that; for as long as she could remember, it had been ingrained into her mind that there was always something bad in everything. With her father's constant yelling and criticism, it's not surprising that Mary tended to criticize a lot of things too. But Natasha seemed to make her forget that. When Natasha was around, it was like nothing was wrong. Everything about Natasha felt so _right_ to Mary.

 

“How about this one?” Natasha asked excitedly, bouncing up and down slightly. Mary smiled and made her way over to the other girl, and looked at the tree. It was perfect (but not as perfect as Natasha was but no way in  _ hell _ was Mary saying that out loud), and Mary smiled and nodded.

 

* * *

 

Natasha looked inquisitively at the ornament that she held in her hand, then back at the tree. She placed it on a branch, then shook her head and put it somewhere else. This repeated a few times, and Mary giggled. Mary was always the picky one, always the one who had to have things just right. But right now she didn’t care about that, all she cared about was that she was still here and that Natasha was too. Music was playing softly in the background, they had gotten a tree, and they were here.  _ They _ . Not just Mary. Mary was at her house with someone who she wanted to be with. Her father was asleep and wasn’t yelling and they were  _ here _ .

 

“Dance with me,” Natasha said suddenly. Mary didn’t know how to react. She just gulped and nodded. What the hell was she doing? She didn’t know how to dance. And here she was, about to do it with Natasha Rostova. She had seen Natasha dance with Andrey, and she was good. Her body had a way of just moving with the music. It was like the notes and beat became at one with her heartbeat and her breath and the steps that she took. And Mary had two left feet. 

 

As Natasha offered Mary her hand to help pull her up and led her into the center of the room, Mary gulped again. “I’m, uh, not very good-”

  
Natasha giggled. “It’s okay! I’ll teach you.” She wrapped her arm around Mary’s waist and held out her arm. Mary felt a shock go through her, and she took Natasha’s hand. She tenderly put her other hand on Natasha’s shoulder. Natasha smiled and nodded. “Now, follow me,” she whispered. She tilted her head towards Mary’s speaker and closed her eyes, and her foot started tapping to the beat. She opened her eyes again and looked at Mary shyly. “Ready?” she asked. Mary nodded. She thought that maybe Natasha had started to count out loud but she couldn’t hear anything except the sound of her heart pounding and she couldn’t see anything except the way that the lights of the tree reflected on Natasha’s dark eyes and  _ God _ , Mary could stay like this forever. Her feet seemed too big and too heavy and she almost fell a few times, but it made Natasha laugh so it was okay. Up until that point, Mary had no idea what she wanted for Christmas, but at that moment, she got it. She got more than it. She got more than she imagined. And even if it was only for a day, it would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading !! come yell with me on tumblr: @merrybolkonskaya


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